Monday, 6 June 2011

needles, pidgeons, cramps and things [caution: Rambling ahead]

For the first time in my life. I saw a pidgeon nest. and pidgeon babies. wow.
seriously. wow. i thought pidgeons just..appeared. fat lil winged rats straight from hell. because despite the thousands of them in london i had never ever seen one's nest before. the mummy was all puffed up she looked scarily huge and the babies were fugly lil things yellow..but not yellow and fluffy in the baby chicken way..but yellow and hairy with bits of grey struggling to get through.      cute.
i didnt have a camera on me :(

Last tuesday i met up with an old old enemy. mr needle. hadnt had one put into my arm for years but i was pretty sure it wasnt something to look forward to. I faced mr dental needle quite a few times last year. injections into the gums is madness. ok they dont hurt like hell just..sting..and..knowing theres this horrible thin sharp needle going into my gums is just..too much for me -_-'
In the end it wasnt that bad. the nurse tried to keep me in conversation to distract me but i was wise to her game and my mind shut down so i couldnt formulate responses just stare at the ceiling waiting for impact. the prick came and i was waiting for the peak pain but it didnt come :D. I felt her press something down against my arm after pulling out the needle and looked down to find, not an animal print plaster, but bloody cotton wool and masking tape. is it really necessary to dull everything down just because because we're older? she didnt even offer me a lollipop afterwards ¬_¬.  i didnt ask for one.

Then on the way home there was something wrong with my thigh and it hurt to walk. How a needle in the arm can affect my thigh i dont know. and the internet had no answer either and so i went into hypercondriac mode and phased in an out of it for the rest of the day..and the next i think, diagnosing myself with a range of crazy things. Went to sleep having come to peace with the fact that there was a chance i might not wake up again lol. At one point i had a panic..anxiety..(something) attack and couldnt breath so started singing (i'm not mad) in an attempt to fool my body into thinking i was calm.  It didnt work.    but cleaning the shower did.. :S
I need to stop researching symptoms and diseases and generally scaring the sh*t out of myself online.
Doesnt help that my body's an asshole though. playing games on me all the time. i'm gonna start flat out ignoring it soon.
gosh i wish it could give clear error reports. like little pop up windows in front of your eyes with things like, "error 176:  out of breath: you have diabetes" or "error 58: abdominal pain: you have gas" nice and straight forward. rather than damn ambiguous symptoms which could be any one of 124 conditions ranging from "no big deal" to "you have an hour to live". -_-'
Anyway! We're all gonna die some day so..
Art!..i mean "Art";
in regards to the native american(?) girl pic i started, it's..not really coming along. tried to do some on the coach on the way back to london but there wasnt enough space for my obese laptop and the sun was shining on the screen so i couldnt really see what i was doing. Painting blind!   .nice.   As predicted, once home i found i'd messed it up even more with crazy colours that looked fine before. aand i havnt really touched it since then. it hasnt reached stage fun yet so im not enjoying working on it :/ . in time in time. Plus, in an attempt to make this "illustrated blog" actually illustrated, i made the above 2 images and lets just say Adobe illustrator has a looong way to go before it gets a place in my heart..or rather...i have a long way to go. gonna have to work through some tutorials. AND on some  3D..maya tutorials, modelling texturing and maybe even some animating (i said all this last year -__-') because i watched Kung fu panda 2 so mr CG inspiration rented out a room in my head, then i watched Gnomeo and Juliette, and he unpacked his bags. Theeen i watched Mulan (She is awesome! i've missed that film. Ariel, Snow White, Cinderella and all those other lil pussies aint got nothing on Mulan :P) and mr attempt.2D.Animation came back, so yeah..looks like mr Digital.painting wont be boarding alone this summer afterall.   (apologies for my sucky metaphors).
But one thing at a time. i WILL finish that other panting first.

Back to B-mth soon. and then France. raaaaaah! i've missed it so much. and the faces i'll see again :D :D :D.
I went past a lil french family in westfield shopping centre the other day. it's so sad how i get excited when i hear the language. i start smiling like a retard.
For now though, London. The weather has had the audacity to go crappy o_o. :(, sucks cz London is so awesome in the sunshiiine. I wanna go rollerblading in hyde park in the sun! too bad im so crap at it. need to go out and practice. havent touched my rollerblades since...august -__-'. think i'll go give them a spin tomorrow. Each time i fall flat on my face, I have to keep reminding myself how much money i spent on them. It was SO out of character for me :s. Seriously I have no idea what was going through my dodgy teenage (hehe 20dom) head. (I've got serious problems with spending money on myself, it's pretty bad, i dont know where it stems from. alternatively: i'm a cheapass :P) so my memory keeps blocking out the price and i somehow manage to convince myself that they were much cheaper. Then i go and check my old statement and a part of me dies inside. but in their defence. Theyre sexy beasts. ..or maybe thats an illusion my mind is creating as a defence mechanism... well..theyre pretty cool at least

ANYWAY. I think i've rambled on quite enough. this is going to look ridiculously long and fugleh. i wouldnt read it. but if you have, then here's a pat on the back.

<please pat yourself for me>

next time im here hopefully it will be with  less rambling and a pretty finished painting. it'll probably look nothing like the pic in the first post. but thats a good thing. :)


  1. dude, you could have had a response if that was a vaccine. vaccines = no go areas.

  2. nah it was just a blood test. just stuff coming out not going in, thats y i was confused :P


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